James Callis Interview at Galactica.tv!

This is something I've been waiting for, because Galactica.tv does awesome interviews. Here's their article on James Callis, interviewed by Marcel Damen last month. I talked to Marcel about a year ago, and he worked hard to get this interview. I also see he snuck in his question about the glowing spine! Hee!

Firstly, some good news: he has a small part in an Edward James Olmos movie tentatively called America, and he's got many other things lined up for this year as well. He just can't talk about them right now. Whew!

There's quite a bit about James' background as an actor, which is not something that comes up in most interviews.

I left school, I went on a gap year and I actually went touring around Europe with an amateur theatrical company. The person who was directing that is now actually my best friend, but the play that we did was a disaster. It was really... A lot of people don't do this stuff anymore. It was like taking a play around Europe in one of those Volkswagen campervans. A lot of people didn't get on, we were young and we didn't have audiences. It was tough as all hell.

Aha, that must be the Beginner's Luck backstory! Maybe it's a remnant of older theatre tradition - theatre groups travelling Europe and such to put on plays, when cinemas and TV weren't around yet. It sounds like a pretty difficult way to engage an audience these days. I'm not sure if I'd try that out. It just sounds like the recipe of a disaster, a bunch of people you don't know traveling around doing something really emotional for no money. Beginner's Luck certainly didn't make it look like fun.

And apparently they took him into university because of that experience? Hee! He doesn't sound that excited about what he did at university, which feels like an odd sort of relief. I didn't do that well at university myself. (Well, I did get high grades, but I dropped out of some courses and my thesis was a disaster.) I'm also interested to hear he was working at a kibbutz for a while.

A bit about his family:

I think my mother had done some acting before and my grandmother was going to be an opera singer, but when my grandmother was younger it wasn't correct -- in my family -- for a young lady to be on stage. That was like a disaster. Things had changed a lot by the time I came around, so they were very supportive. I think they knew it would make me happy.

That's really interesting. It must be where his performing/singing talent comes from. It's also really sad - if his grandmother had lived now, she could have pursued the career she wanted. My grandmother was a great writer, but she couldn't afford an education and never pursued a writing career. Sometimes I think of her and how I can carry on that legacy. I can get my words out, she couldn't.

I tend to glamourize James, I think, but it sounds like he's seen a rougher side of life with the theatre group, and he's seen the ordinary life. Maybe his life is still pretty ordinary everyday life - kids, taking them to school, going to the supermarket, what have you. Considering that he's been through all that, maybe that's what makes him so humble. (Yes, even his ordinariness makes me put him on a pedestal, I am hopeless.)

About the threesome bed scenes:

Tricia is beautiful, Lucy Lawless is beautiful and I'm not! What I mean to say is that when we were there lying in bed, it's just a shot (snaps his fingers) and then it's: "Get up, get out."

Yes you are beautiful! Oh James, always so self-deprecating. It's interesting that he doesn't seem to find those scenes that sexy. As a viewer, like he says, you're always imagining more to it than they're showing. I know I've thought of it several times.

I'm trying to not quote the whole thing, but I found this really interesting:

Every other day you'd finish and there was this thing and I'm like: "Oh my God. I'm covered in blood and grime and shit and tears. I've got a headache, my head hurts from those cigarettes we had to smoke, which had some really strong tobacco -- they were nauseous things." So I was like: "Yeah, I'm on Battlestar Galactica."

It sounds like it was a really tough experience on all levels. The reality of it all really came through, I think, and he played it for real, so I'm not surprised it was hard to do it.

(Also, he mentions smoking, which I'm kind of obsessed with since I kinda took up smoking and am trying to quit. Mm, smoking. I wonder how strong the cigarettes were, doesn't he chain smoke anyway?)

It's always a surprise that they had so much fun on set, after all that. He mentions telling Lucy that her body double had a spot on her butt, which made her give up the body double. Hee!

Most importantly of all - why didn't Baltar notice Six's glowing spine when they had sex?

(laughing) I just don't know about that myself. I imagine on some level in the relationship that she was always on top. That's about all I'll say.

Hee! :D Yeah, on more than one level, probably. You know, I've seen a lot of interviews and this hasn't come up before, surprisingly.

("on some level" count: 6. He also says "at an early age" twice and "a really young age" once.)

Also - he doesn't plan on appearing in Law&Order UK. I'm a bit disappointed, it doesn't seem like a half bad show, and Jamie's on it. But I'm glad he feels like I do: that it's hard to find roles that... oh sod it, I'm quoting again.

Then you read other stuff and it doesn't come anywhere close to the moral complexity, ambiguity, tarnished nature of the human soul. So it's hard finding things that for me have the integrity that this show had. I think that will be a problem for everybody who was involved in Battlestar Galactica essentially.

It's like that for the viewers as well, I think. I hope he can find something that lives up to Gaius Baltar, but I might forever compare his every role to that. It's great he was involved in that, but it's also a disappointment to see him in a role that isn't as demanding or giving to the audience.

Administrary Blurb

Unrelated James image. Well, he is saluting the readers or something. Yeah, it's totally related.

I felt like making a sort of "beginning of the year" administrative post. Hi people, we got through January safe and sound. We'll see what this month brings!

News: Umm. Re-Uniting the Rubins has been pushed back til spring, it seems, but rest assured that when it comes out, I will get it in my hands somehow and blog about it.

The truth is, I have no idea what James is doing this year. I haven't heard of any projects or con appearances. I'm hoping he'll still be added to various con lineups, and of course I'm always on the lookout for new projects. There will be news once they're out on the internet. Since I have no contact with James or anyone who works for him, I unfortunately can't publish anything exclusive.

However, if you're out of gushes and need your fix, there's still plenty of material. I have some old stuff to blog about that I have been putting off, what with so many appearances last year. There are his old projects, some old transcripts, and I still haven't made a proper Jules Verne Awards post! So this blog will not have a hiatus, no matter what. I'm also posting LJ community stuff here, at least temporarily, since LiveJournal is refusing to cooperate with me. It's all James/Tricia photos and recaps, so it's on topic.

Lots of BSG communities and sites are now becoming Caprica communities and sites. I'm going to keep this blog very much James Callis-related, with some BSG thrown in. The show is over for me, with my beloved characters coming to the end of their arcs (and I don't mean only Baltar). I'm not ready to engage in a new show and its characters simply because of the same canon. So at least for now, no Caprica here.

I'm going to make a post about James' HAIR, which really deserves to be capitalized. But before that, the Hair Poll has been extended. In case you don't know what "Long like Sex&Chips" looks like, look here. Yes, it may be extensions - I almost spelled that "sextensions"! - but at least to me, it looks great. (As you may deduce from that Freudian slip.)

There's also a new poll regarding the Twitter sidebar. Twitter started out as a simple way to post James links and other fun stuff, but I realize it's become increasingly about me, myself and I. Since this is a James blog, you might not all be utterly fascinated by me. Plus half the time I post something about James, it's a direct link here: "I blogged this and that". I could start talking more about James and finding related links, or I could just remove it from the sidebar if people feel it's a bit superfluous. So let me know what you think.

Speaking of me, myself and I: If you use Facebook and want to add me, I'm in as Deniselle Baltar. (I know, but I thought they wouldn't allow me if I don't use SOME last name.) The account is personal, not a James fan/blog account. I'll add you if I know you (or send me a personal message and let me know who you are). There are a couple of James fan communities on Facebook and they don't seem particularly active, but who knows what would happen if more people joined?

The blog's Youtube account: I'm still favoriting James videos, but when Youtube reinvented itself somehow some months ago, it lost all of my old playlists. I'm going to work on recollecting the videos I had - mostly old James panels/interviews and such stuff. If it lets me make playlists of things I haven't added myself.

I must admit I did have an idea of doing podcasts. It might have been fun. But apparently my webcam makes GINORMOUS videos that take up a lot of space, yet aren't that good with the image and audio quality. So eh, maybe we forget about that idea. It would have been nice to have a voice online, literally, but maybe it's not so essential, as I don't have much else to report than my usual James ponderings. (I could have made an extended series of My Autograph, which would have featured kissing the autograph, talking to it, and crying. Just kidding. Kind of.)

Also, I feel like I haven't been silly in ages, so I might post something totally silly sometime soon. Or not. We'll see if the mood strikes... ;)

"Silly? Oh my... giddy aunt!"

Beginner's Luck and the Fat Girl: A More Academic (?) View

Beginner's Luck: a movie James Callis co-wrote and co-directed. It's a very indie film and isn't really available anywhere offline. If you wish to see it, contact me or purchase it as play.co.uk. They have it for very cheap (that's where I got mine).

I wrote a pretty anguished post about this scene about a year ago and have since removed and retconned it. But I feel like I've given this so much thought that I'll just go ahead and post a more academic discussion of the fat girl scene and how it could be read. I can think of two possible readings, one which is positive to the fat girl and one which is negative. By posting my thoughts, I hope to do the film justice. My readings are just one way (well, two ways) of looking at the scenes, and it may not be what the filmmakers intended. If you're uninterested in feminist/fat acceptant film readings, please skip to the next post. I try to keep my political views separate of this tribute blog, but this is one case where I have made an exception, so I'll continue to do so.

My Reactions

Let me start this off by saying that I can't truly make any assumptions about James Callis' attitude on women, fat people, or fat women based on this film. He may love us, hate us or think nothing in particular about us, and there's nothing the film can really tell me about that. Because it is just a work of art, there were lots of people involved in making it, and I don't even know how to read the scene. Making any kind of judgement one way or the other would be silly. But that's what I did when I first saw the film.

My initial reading - that James wanted to diss fat girls - was based on my own personal issues with body shaming, bullying and being rejected. I feel bad that I thought the worst off the bat, but weirdly, that's kind of how fan disappointments work. The fan lifts the idol on a pedestal, and on some level, you're always worried that you'll be proven wrong and your image is completely in your head. When you encounter a disappointment, you immediately think this is the REAL person behind your image, and he's horrible. So ironically, the fan mindset serves to create two opposing extreme images: the ideal idol and the evil idol. Neither of these images is real, and while people tend to accuse fans of being too naïve, I think the opposite is also true. Fans make some of the harshest judgements.

Something in my positive James image is probably real - he does act in a way that lends itself to that interpretation (he shows people kindness, says thought-out and intelligent things, etc.). Some of my image is projection of the qualities I most admire in a person (or even in myself). The opposite image of a rude, sexist asshole who secretly loathes fat women is probably all fictional - nothing in James' behavior suggests that and indeed even the film isn't that bad.

If I'm to go too far in either direction, I'd best lean for the "James is sooo kind and good" line of thinking. Because it's always best to think well of people and expect the best, rather than the worst. Nobody's fully good but nobody's fully bad either, and assuming things about someone's inner thoughts based on a movie scene is not realism, it's still just fangirling in the opposite direction.

And this may just be wishful thinking, but the more I write about this, the more positive things I find about the depiction of the fat girl. It may be a flawed depiction with a strong chance of negative reading - but it's not blatantly hateful or stereotypical. There is something positive there that suggests the fat girl in the film isn't just a fat girl.

The Scene(s)

James plays Mark Feinman, a young director wannabe who randomly decides to start a theatre group that would perform Shakespeare's The Tempest. He has no money, no experience and no resources, and it's all generally a big disaster. The group's first gig is booked at a seedy strip club. The owner, played by Steven Berkoff, is a crass and scary guy who wants them to take on his niece, or else.

His niece is a fat girl named Charlotte, who is shown standing awkwardly in front of the others in her first scene. Mark welcomes her with a rather desperate smile, and it's clear that she isn't wanted in the group.

In a later scene, the one I took offense with, Charlotte is supposed to be kissing Jason, another actor, for the play. Neither of them wants to do it, and Mark yells at them that he's the director and he wants them to kiss. Charlotte threatens him with "Uncle Bob". Mark then decides to show Jason how to do it - only he seems to have trouble doing it, and has to really force himself to bend down and kiss her with intensity, tho not much passion. He seems rather dizzy afterwards. (I must admit that if it weren't for the nature of the scene, I would have laughed, because James' body language here was hilarious.)

After this, Charlotte is shown rehearsing with the group, looking rather skeptical about the whole thing. In her final scene, she leaves Mark a message from a pay phone, informing him that she's leaving the group. "It's nothing personal - I just think you're hopeless," she says with tears running down her face. Before Mark has a chance to pick up, she's already stepped into a taxi. We don't see her again.

The Readings

So let me put on my academic glasses and try to parse the scenes in a rather more intellectual manner. I'll admit to my biased status as James' fan and I probably won't be able to be completely objective, but then no one ever is.

This time, I won't say anything about author intention. We were taught at the uni about "death of the author": never trust the author, always trust the tale, don't look for interpretations in the author's life events, and so forth. So I am looking at the tale and its possible readings. Anything in these scenes may have been negotiated between James Callis, Nick Cohen (the co-writer/director) and Debbie Chazen who plays Charlotte. I see a lot of negative but also a lot of positive. But this is just a work of art, not a personal statement from James Callis. I'm trying to keep that in mind.

The anti-fat reading

The fat girl is unwanted, like fat girls in films often are. She's awkward, big and clumsy, and dressed in clothes that aren't very flattering; even in her first scene, the audience is signalled by these things to find her unattractive and laughable. The uncle forcing her into the group is a bit like a scary uncle forcing you to go on a date with his ugly daughter - another movie trope - where you're forced to be polite despite your distaste for her. (When I say "you", I mean an assumed male viewer who finds slim women attractive. Which seems to be the only type of viewer who would enjoy this kind of scene.)

The kissing scene is a replay of an old stereotype: kissing the fat ugly girl. Mark tries his best, but simulating attraction to Charlotte is an impossible task and he proves it by being so repelled by her that he can barely touch her lips at all. We're supposed to side with Mark and Jason, find Charlotte unattractive and sympathize with guys who have to pretend to kiss her. There are also other instances in the film where Mark finds a girl unattractive and favors another, this being only the most obvious one.

Perhaps it's also a joke on the guy: Jason is skinny and has glasses, and a girl wouldn't be expected to find him attractive. So the joke is on both of them, but mostly on Charlotte.

The fat girl is the epitome of the unwanted loser. When even she leaves and tells Mark he's hopeless, that pretty much shows us what a sad nobody Mark truly is, and how ridiculous his ambitions with this play. As the actual story of the film unfolds, we're ready to discard the fat girl and focus on the actual characters. The viewers aren't expected to sympathize with or care about the fat girl, so it's best to not have her in the scenes for any longer than necessary.

Kissing the fat girl is a throwaway joke, a typical (especially British) film trope. The underlying idea - which may or may not have been acknowledged by the filmmakers - is that a woman's most important quality is her attractiveness. Julie Delpy's eteric blonde beauty compared to Charlotte's clumsiness or Alex and Chloe's (the other "ugly girls" in the film) tomboyish appearances serves to strengthen beauty ideals. Nothing revolutionary about this indie film.

The pro-fat reading

Charlotte knows she is unwanted. She enters as a kind of victim of her (clearly sexist and scary) uncle. Who knows if she even wanted to be in this? Maybe her uncle forced her to come into the group. Or maybe she has ambitions she hasn't been able to realize, perhaps due to size discrimination. She's pretty daring to come at all, considering that the other members of the group clearly don't want her, and she looks scared but defiant.

In the kissing scene, Charlotte refuses to be kissed. The tables are turned: rather than being the unwanted ugly girl, she rejects the possibility to be kissed. Realizing there is no sexual chemistry, she tries to let Mark know that she's not willing to be humiliated like this. Mark makes a fool of himself by forcing it, and Charlotte is deeply offended by this.

Mark's distaste for kissing her could be about his sexual taste -not everyone likes fat women, and nothing offensive about that - or the fact that he's currently mad at her and is doing this to prove a point. The important part is her reaction: her defiance, her voice, her being hurt. Mark is generally shown to be a sexist idiot who doesn't know how to behave with the girls in the group, and the girls' hurt feelings are always displayed. We are not meant to sympathize with Mark.

Possibly the smartest member of the group, Charlotte realizes she should be leaving rather than staying on a sinking ship. Moreover, she's tired of being the unwanted fat girl in the group, and she knows this will not change. She may cry at the offense and humiliation, but she's not a passive victim. By leaving alone in a taxi, she takes her destiny in her own hands and breaks away from her oppressive uncle and the sexist guys in the group. She doesn't wait for Mark's response on the phone, because she's made up her mind. Mark tries to plead her to come back, but she's already left. She could have stayed on until the end of the film, being ridiculed for her weight, having more and more humiliating situations, but she wasn't. She cried and she left. This is a nice twist.

Charlotte is played by a fat woman, not a skinny girl in a fat suit. She is never shown eating - not even in the end when she's crying - and is generally as much of a character as any of the slim girls. Her weight is never referred to explicitly by anyone in the film, she has a name, and she has a voice. She is a strong fat female character, and this bodes well for the film's view of women. (In general, the women in the film are spunky and have a voice.)

Conclusion

Um, conclusion. I don't really have one. Well, I've written this out of my system. I'm not sure how to read all of this, but I see I had a lot more to say in terms of the positive reading, and maybe that means something. If you've seen the film and want to weigh in, please leave a comment. I'd be curious to hear other views.

Downloaded: A Picspam

Cylon agent 04827894r, a model Six, completed her mission on Caprica and was able to gain access into the defense mainframe. After her successful task, she is now being downloaded to a new body.

Memory scan: 0 %.

Memory scan: 50 %. You will notice that the agent frequently engaged in what humans call "frakking". This was done not for pleasure, but for business, to obtain the codes. While the human is helpless in the throes of his sexual needs, we are convinced that the agent had no feelings involved whatsoever. Cylon efficiency at its best!

Memory scan: 100 %. Consciousness activated.

Caprica: Wh... what... where... I was in a house..?

The Three: You're not in a house anymore. Now you're back with us.

Caprica: M-multiple orgasms..?

The Three: Yeah, I'm afraid the time for those is over. Your mission is complete. You're a hero!

Caprica: Gaius... Gaius was in the house... is he dead?

The Three: Gaius Baltar?

Caprica: How many Gaiuses do you know?

The Three: Fair enough. Well...

HeadBaltar: (longest shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh in tv history) I'm not really here!

Don't let on that you can see me or there'll be trouble! Oh, but don't worry, you're not crazy. I'm an angel.

The Three: Caprica, would you mind terribly if Dr Baltar was dead?

HeadBaltar: Say no or you're dead meat.

Caprica: Um, it would be... unfortunate... not that I care because I'm a completely emotionless machine.

The Three: Atta girl. Welcome back to our world.

SIX MONTHS LATER, TWO YEARS LATER, ETC....

(The time tags are really confusing but suffice it to say, around the same time the second season of Galactica is happening onboard...)

Caprica: Isn't this park such a relaxing place?
HeadBaltar: I suppose so, once they clean out those bodies scattered all over.

HeadBaltar: So many people died here. I despise you and your kind.

Caprica: Ahh, your hair...

HeadBaltar: Are you even listening? -Well, at least you're paying attention to something. My hair is pretty gorgeous.

The Three (faux-cheerfully): How are we doing here?

Caprica: Ah, just fine... unwinding in the park, thinking cylon stuff...

Caprica: I do feel kind of stiff still. This body, I know it's identical but I don't really feel... myself yet.

The Three: I remember when I first downloaded. It was painful and stiff. But you know what, you get over it!

Caprica: Right, with time....

The Three: No, I mean, you get over it. Now.

The Three: You're such a hero now! And to think of what you did. Seducing a man so completely and having him under your power. I mean, your mission could be very ... unsettling.

HeadBaltar: Hey, what so unsettling about sleeping with me?

Caprica: Hmmm...

HeadBaltar: Caprica? Tell her I was good.

Caprica: Hmmm...

The Three: Anyhoo, I thought you could check in another cylon who downloaded around the time you did. She's having some troubles adjusting. She still insists on calling herself Sharon.

Caprica: You mean like how some models prefer to be called Cavil, or Simon?

The Three: No, this time it's a sign of adjustment issues.

Caprica: How so?

The Three: Look, it's not supposed to make sense. Just go to her house and try to convince her to be a cylon.

The Three: ...Because if you don't, we will have to kill her consciousness.

HeadBaltar: Oh, how lovely! Damn it's good to be a cylon!

Caprica: Shut the frak up!

The Three: Excuse me?!

Caprica: I was talking to my um... conscience.

The Three: That's the spirit!

AN UNIDENTIFIED TIME LATER, at Boomer's place, things are going not altogether well...

Caprica: "Listen, your mission was God's will. He'll help you out."

Boomer: "Well, I don't believe in your God!"

Caprica: (awkwardly) "Eh, but... God believes in you!"

Boomer: *eye-roll*

HeadBaltar: "Wow. You tell me you've never done this before? What a natural."

Caprica: "Shut up or help me out."

HeadBaltar: "OK, these elephants. Once you bring them up she will have a nervous breakdown and you guys can relate."

Boomer: The elephants? They just remind me of how I'M A FRAKKING CYLON!!!! AAARGHH! *throws a picture with a glass frame at the wall*

HeadBaltar: How clever! You scratched your own cheek in an attempt to get her sympathy.

Caprica: Why would you tell me that? I know what I did.

HeadBaltar: No, it's for the viewers. Look, here comes the replay.

Caprica: Oh, for the love of...

HeadBaltar: Get over it, you only have to do this for one episode.

HeadBaltar: "Listen, I can help you out. Just repeat in unison with me. I am different."

Caprica: "I am different."

(in unison:)

"I'm more like you. There was a man I loved. I'm sure he would have loved me too, eventually. Granted, he freaked out when I asked him if he loves me, and I caught him cheating on the day of the attacks. But I'm still convinced that somewhere deep inside he was able to love me..."

Boomer: "Awww, that is so desperate. I can totally relate to you now."

Later: the girls are bonding.

Boomer: Cylon tampons.

Caprica: Oh, totally superior to human ones. See, I told you there are good sides to our culture!

Boomer: So, you said you were in love with one of us. Who was it?

HeadBaltar: "Us", so cute! She thinks she's human. By the way, isn't it soothing to know that even as an angel, I'm still an alcoholic?

Caprica: *tries to grab an invisible glass, then remembers that might seem a bit crazy* Heh heh, silly me.

Boomer: Eh...

Caprica: Right. The guy. Maybe you've heard of him... Gaius Baltar?

Boomer: Gaius Baltar the athlete? Gaius Baltar the president of Picon? ...You don't mean doctor Baltar?!

Caprica: Right.

Boomer: He works for the cylons?!

Caprica: He's... alive?

Boomer: He's the frakking vice president of the twelve colonies! Where have you been? -Oh sorry, I forgot you've been dead.

*FIVE-MINUTE CLOSEUP OF CAPRICA'S EYES*

Meanwhile, on Galactica... Our "hero" tries to save the child of baby Hera. He's still looking every bit as charming and confident as HeadBaltar... um, maybe we just caught him on a bad day.

Adama: It's gotta be bad for humans if they wanted it.

Roslin: I don't know how we can be safe if that baby is onboard.

Gaius: But but... we gotta save the baby! It's some part human! I... totally have a scientific interest in this! *freaks out*

Roslin: Calm down, Dr Baltar.

Gaius: That's vice president Baltar! *his voice breaks in a whimper*

Roslin: For some reason, it's easy to forget that...

(Dear viewers, there was a big deleted storyline here where Gaius Baltar actually tried to save the baby, but we cut it for no apparent reason. Also: there was more Gina. Sorry.)

SOME TIME LATER... (It could be the same day, but honestly, who can keep track when they always seem to have the same clothes on?)

Boomer and Caprica are having coffee over at Ominous Café, where multiple copies of cylons are chatting and drinking their coffees.

HeadBaltar: Ahh, my hair...

Caprica: Why would the Three want us to talk? She knew you'd tell me about Gaius being alive.

HeadBaltar: Are you still on that? You robots sure are thick. As is my hair... *strokes*

Caprica (tries hard to not show her feelings of being hurt/turned on)

The Three (faux-cheerfully): Hi girls! Mind if I join ya? What were you talking about?

Caprica: Ehhhhh.....

Boomer: Ummmmm....

HeadBaltar: Oh for goodness sake, think of something! I don't know how the cylon race has survived so far.

Caprica: C-cylon tampons..?

MEANWHILE, on Galactica...

Roslin decided the best and fairest thing to do would be to pretend the baby died, and give it to some human mother so she can raise it as human. Gaius returns to his lab to find a seething HeadSix...

Gaius: "Listen, Six, the baby, well, it died. It's not my fault, I swear! Please don't kill me!"

HeadSix: (hisses) God... will...punish... youu....

Gaius: (unconvincingly) Um, I'm not scared because I don't believe in the cylon God so how could he punish me, eh...

HeadSix: ...with lack of sex!

Gaius: NOOOOOO!

MEANWHILE on Caprica:

There is an EXPLOSION because of the HUMAN RESISTANCE trying to kill the CYLONS. One HUMAN - ironically it's Anders who's one of the Final Five - ends up in the ruins with the three cylons we know... But Caprica and Sharon don't want to kill him.

Boomer: Look, why does he need to die?

The Three: Awww, so sweet! You want to save your little human buddy so you can play with him! You sure are frakked up, "Sharon".

Caprica: (to thin air as far as Three can see) Oh Gaius... I love you, I want you...

The Three: WTF? You're both demented! I should just box both of your lines right now.

HeadBaltar (meaningfully):

"Your wounds are red, cigarette smoke is blue,

let the smoke float and you will too..."

Caprica: What?!

HeadBaltar: OK, cut me some slack. I'm still new to this "ominous head character" thing.

HeadBaltar: Caprica, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life. Now please kill the Three.

Caprica (kills the Three): Oh, Gaius. And I thought this head thing was going to be creepy.

Caprica Six convinced Boomer to work with her. And so they became Super-Caprica and Super-Boomer and the cylons may have done weird and wonderful things, if it weren't for Caprica's silly plan to go find her beloved Dr Baltar and frak him once more. And despite how awesome this episode was, there was never another one from the cylon point of view.

The End.