The Black Market / The Captain's Hand Picspam

The Black Market

in which Galactica suddenly becomes a murder mystery show. But we'll skip most of that.

Roslin wants to catch those thugs who run the black market in the fleet! Gaius Baltar is completely unaware of such stuff, and shows it by looking innocent.

"No more black market! How can life go on?"

In case somebody just tuned in and/or has the IQ of a goldfish: FISKE RUNS THE BLACK MARKET AND BALTAR IS BUYING CIGARS FROM HIM. This will all be forgotten after this episode, tough, so don't bother memorizing if you're slow.

Later: Gaius comes to get his cigar fix. Fiske has been killed, and Gaius is shocked. Lee Adama goes from pilot to private investigator to work on the case (really, this episode...)

It may not make much sense, but at least it gives us the unusual sight of HeadSix next to Lee. How often do you see that?

Lee: "Doctor Baltar! Fancy seeing you here! Isn't this your brand of illegally smuggled

cigars, by the by?"

Gaius: "Um... Eh... I don't know what you're talking about, Pilot Inspector.. I mean..."

(looks guiltier than a 5-year-old caught stealing cookies)

HeadSix: "Gaius, you're the vice president! Why are you acting like a kid caught with your hand in the cookie jar?"

Gaius: "Have I ever NOT acted that way?"

HeadSix: "Fair enough, but can't you at least pretend to be confident? You're embarrassing me."

Gaius: "Um... I'm vice president! Show some respect, lower-ranking military guy."

*gives Lee a staredown*

HeadSix: "Not bad. I think I can train you to do this."

So then we have HeadSix taunting Gaius and Gaius acting arrogant to cover up his guilt.

Such novel and revolutionary use of these characters.. what an episode!

Moving on. Laura Roslin calls Gaius for a meeting. A nice little tea time just for presidents

and vice presidents.

Laura: "You know, I never quite know where I stand with you."

Gaius: "Oh yeah? Well, *I* am not the one hiding a bunch of vicious feelings and judgements."

Laura: "Hmm?"

Gaius: "Hmm?"

Laura: *tries to look through Gaius, gets lost in the layers of arrogance*

Laura: "Um, so with you being this brilliant scientist and saving my life and all..."

Gaius: "You flatter me. Do go on."

Laura: "...I was thinking you might want to step down from politics now."

HeadSix: "Wow, she's totally intimidated by you!"

Gaius: "Really? ...Madam President? Actually, there's nothing I want more than to be VP."

Laura: "I thought you didn't want to be president anyway."

Gaius: "I never did. Until this very moment."

Laura: (thinks) "Damn, I knew I should have used reverse psychology."

The Captain's Hand

Zarek has invited Gaius for a meeting. A nice little booze time between vice presidents and

ex-vice president candidates.

Zarek: "You could totally lead this fleet, Gaius. You're what people need now."

Gaius: "You flatter me. Do go on."

Gaius: "OK, I'm no dummy, Tom. What's in it for you?"

Zarek: "Oh nothing, nothing. Nothing at all. I just thought you might want to remember your

friends."

Gaius: "Yeah... too bad I don't really have any."

Zarek: "Me. I'm the friend."

Gaius: "OH."

Laura comes into Gaius' lab, asking about humanity's survival in the future. (vis-a-vis a hot abortion debate going on in the fleet) HeadSix is very amused by all this. (And apparently towers over Laura kinda creepily. I think she's standing closer to the camera here though.)

Gaius: "Well, if you'd only asked, I could have told you what the figures are. Of course,

I already have it all calculated. You seem to forget I am a genius."

Laura: "Sorry, slipped my mind... (thinks) because of how you act sometimes."

Gaius (thinks) "Me genius. Laura sexy."

Laura: "So the figures?"

Gaius: "Humanity will be extinct in the next 18 years."

Laura: "What?"

Gaius: "Um, provided we don't procreate like MAD. In fact, it's every fertile woman

and man's duty to do this service to their country..."

Laura: "I'll get back to you on this." (leaves before Gaius can seduce her)

HeadSix: Gaius, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Gaius: Mm... Laura sexy...

HeadSix: Gaius! -You could use this issue in your political advantage.

Gaius: OH.

Later, Roslin and Gaius meet the press head on:

Laura (thinks): "Imagine them in their underwear... The more ludicrous the better.. done.

Ah, that always helps."

Gaius: "Eek, so many journalists! -Hey, is that Playa? Like the new hairdo. Like my longer hair, baby? Maybe after this, we could... oh damn, HeadSix is watching. Ahem."

Laura (thinks): "I hope Baltar isn't imagining me in my underwear."

Gaius *imagines Laura in HeadSix's underwear*

"Hee! My boy up there, talking to the press! Look how insecure he is! Awww."

"Allow me, Madam President. Now people, if we outlaw abortion, we're like those evil machines, the cylons, who stand for everything that's rotten in the universe..."

"He's only saying this to win them over. Nananana I can't hear him..."

"Now with that topic out of the way, onto the most important topic: ME! I am running for president! Try to control yourselves, ladies..."

Clap. Clap. Clap. BAM! BAM! BAM! THUNDERBOLTS! Devil's horns on Six! This is a bad omen, Gaius. Run for your life!

"I'm so clever, even HeadSix loves me! Boy, did I do good this time."