Sunday, February 28, 2010


So, there's this awesome Baltar/Six video by Keeganwh.

And there's this awesome Baltar/Six picspam by Nicole. (A new one, of her top 5 Baltar/Six episodes. Just so beautiful.)

Watching these pictures and thinking back on their story just makes me feel - elevated. It's somehow larger than life.

A lot of fans were angry at RDM for the finale. It didn't tie all of the loose ends. But it did give us Baltar and Six. That's really something.

BSG wasn't perfect and the finale wasn't perfect, in the same way that nothing I write will ever be perfect. BSG can and should be criticized, but what matters the most to me is that it makes me feel happy, elevates me from my everyday life, and excites my imagination. There's a great fandom full of intelligent, creative people discussing the show and creating things.

Every once in a while, I just want to be grateful I got to experience the phenomenon that is BSG. Thank you Ron D Moore.

Friday, February 26, 2010

James Callis to Join FlashForward!

I'm really excited about this. James will be joining ABC show FlashForward! And they specifically wanted to work with him from the start.
SciFi Wire article (interviewing the show's producer).

"When I watched Battlestar, every time he wasn't in a scene I couldn't wait for him to come back," said Borsiczky. "And I really wanted to have an opportunity to work with him. Honestly, since the show was ordered, we've been excited to work with him. And I so just cast him in our show. He's playing a big role in some of the final episodes this season, and it was for that very reason."

*beams* I'm so glad someone specifically wanted him onboard a big network show like this. Great exposure in the US, and a show I actually watch!

To be honest, I've been a bit bored with some of the FF episodes and characters and was about to abandon the show. But it's a fascinating premise, and who knows how the rest of the episodes turn out. Needless to say, I'm back on board and curious to see what kind of character James will play!

Look forward to more news on this as the previews come in.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Movie Ideas For James, Part 2

I seem to have blogged about movie ideas for James about a year ago, so why not freshen up the blog with some new ones? I still haven't heard from James or his agent re:the old ones, but the same prices apply: 500 bucks/idea and 10 000 if you want me to write the whole script. I can start writing anytime. I have lots of free time on my hands, as you can probably tell by these ideas...

Jimmy the Dog

Jimmy (James Callis) gets weird news one day: his uncle has passed away and left him in possession of his dachshund (Dora Negri-Crutchfield). Not a fan of dogs, Jimmy evades his responsibility - especially since the dog looks eerily like him and keeps giving him weird looks. One day, he wakes up and realizes his consciousness has been placed inside the dog's body, while Jimmy is now inhabited and controlled by a dog's mind. How can he signal to other people what's going on? Will anyone believe him? Will the dog ruin his chances with his girlriend Ginny (Lucy Lawless)? In this educational family comedy, Jimmy learns a lot about life in general and dogs in particular.

A Woman From the Near Future

Nurse Janine (Tricia Helfer) witnesses the death of a handsome, kind man (James Callis) she only sees briefly on one day. Devastated by the event, she begs God to give her a chance to help him. The next morning, she wakes up - to the same day all over again. There's a note on her desk saying "Whatever you do, don't fall in love or else. GOD" Will she be able to save him? Will she be able to resist that luscious hair? What kind of punishment will God (Edward James Olmos) give her when she can't?

The Box

Five people (one of whom is James Callis) wake up inside a weird box. What is the box? How did they get there? How can they get out? Can they? James plays a weird guy who seems to be holding many secrets. For one thing, where does he keep getting cigarettes and donuts? Secrets are revealed, horror ensues, etc.

(This is not a copy of The Cube.)
(Oh who am I kidding, it totally is, but the point is I could still make it fresh and novel. With the cigarettes and donuts.)

Jack the Ripper Meets the Stripper

Loosely based on the life of murderer Jack the Ripper, this movie details a brief encounter between Jack (James Callis) and stripper Dyamonde (Tricia Helfer). After this encounter, she stays in his head as a weird guiding angel who also has sex with him.
(Um, I don't know all that much about Jack, so it could be mostly sex and moral dilemmas in the head of a murderer. They could improvise a whole lot.)

My Liver's Busted

Gengulphus Donglefield (James Callis) is a posh British upper-class twit who's drunk himself to near death. His liver busted, he needs a liver transplant - only no one wants to give him one, so he has to ask his estranged family for help. His mother volunteers to give her liver, but only if Gengulphus become entangled in her weird criminal pursuits to rob a...

Hey wait a minute, she'd die if she donated her liver. Ummm.

My Kidney's Busted

Gengulphus Donglefield (James Callis) is a posh British upper-class twit who's drunk himself to near death. His kidney busted, he needs a transplant - but who can give him one when his whole estranged family despises him? His mother Lady Eustacia Donglefield née Montparnassé (Barbra Streisand) finally volunteers to help, but only if he get entagled with her weird criminal pursuits to rob a bank (or something more interesting). Can Gengulphus climb walls and cat-burglarize with his busted kidney? Will he be busted by the cops before he gets the transplant? Thriller, PG-13.

Super Size Him

Fat fetishist fan Deniselle (Lucy Lawless)* decides to fatten up her slender idol James Callis (as himself). She volunteers at cons and plants pastries wherever he goes. Will James be able to resist her sweet offerings? Will the other fans get wind of this harebrained scheme and stop her in time? Or will her conscience (Tricia Helfer) get to her? (Training montage not included.)

* Well she looks a bit like me, OK? She has the same hair color as Three, anyway. Shut up.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Picspam: "Lay Down Your Burdens, Part I & II"

Gaius: I am going to lose.
Six: Are you done feeling sorry for yourself?
Gaius: No. Shut up.

Six: Nothing a little seduction can't fix...

Gaius: No! I need my blood in my brain.

Six: Gaius. It is blasphemy to not have sex when God ordains it. But for now... *slams his head in the desk* I'll spare you.

Tom Zarek: You OK, Gaius..?

Gaius: Yes! Yes! OK! I'm OK! Just lying my head on the table, thinking!

Tom: *to himself* Geniuses...

Laura: I'm going to win today, you know that, right?

Gaius: Your mother is, but what am I?

Laura: Huh?

Gaius: fat. Your mother is so fat. Me being skinny means that.. eh..

Laura: You are so going down.

Gaius: *gulp*

Gaius: (reads) "Dr Baltar may be a brilliant scientist and have sexy luscious hair" - true, but hear what comes after that: "..but his political views fail to convince, and his 'knock knock' jokes just don't work in this context."

Tom: Well, that's a rough start, but come on. Chin up! Always look on the bright side of life! Dada, tada tada tada...

Gaius: Oh thank you so much Tom! That made me feel all better. Maybe GOD will stretch down his mighty hand and win me this race, how about that?

Tom: You mean gods?

Gaius: Right. Gods. Ahem.

Next: GOD helps the fleet find a PLANET. Gaius doesn't think very much of it but Tom thinks it's the key to his victory, because Laura doesn't want them to settle on the planet.

Gaius: Are you serious? This planet is cold and arid and nothing will grow there!

Tom: So what? People want to live there, they will vote for you.

HeadSix: Listen to him, Gaius. He has great ideas. Plus I have a total crush on him.

Tom: Mmm... Weird, did it get hot in here?

Gaius: You know what, if people are dumb enough to move there, let's give them what they want, huh?

Tom: That's the spirit.

Gaius: "[obvious political bullshit that people eat up because it's what they want to hear]"

People: Yay! We love you Gaius!

Gaius: M-Madam President..? I was expecting someone else... (thinks: thank god I didn't expose my glow-in-the-dark speedo yet!)

Laura: I'm sorry, that lusty note was from me.

Gaius: Heh, well I think right before the election is not the time to...

Laura: Eww, no! I wanted us to have a private talk without the press finding out.

Gaius: (disappointed) Fine, be deceptive... So what do you want?

Laura: This planet. We don't want to just settle onto it. We want to research it and find stuff out. So I say let's take it out of the presidential election and make the decision later. I'm appealing your sense of patriotism.

Gaius: My sense of PAT-riotism is very good. Thank you very much for ahsking. I don't know about you, but *I* say things the British way! And I see it as my DUTY to lead my people to a new land, to freedom! To be the great leader of the new millennium!

Laura: Oh my god, you've gone insane.

Gaius: No, you have. How dare you mix filthy politics into an issue of FREEDOM and LIBERTY and PATRIOTISM! By the way - Laura - once we're done with the election, I can meet you in private ANY time.

Laura: By the by, I saw you with a tall, blonde woman on Caprica. Was she a cylon? Are you with cylons?

Six: She knows, Gaius. LIE! And for god's sake try not to look guilty!

Gaius: This is just ridiculous. Do you have any idea how many tall, blonde women I've had - even after coming onto this fleet?

Six: Good. Now go.

Gaius: And your mother is so fat...

Six: Oh no, just quit while you're ahead.

Gaius *runs away like a scared little boy*

Laura (thinks) I may just have to kill you in your sleep.

Against all odds, Gaius LOSES the ELECTION.

Tom: Gaius. This election is fixed. I can tell a fixed one when I see one.

Gaius: You know, I can't see Laura doing that. Kill me in my sleep, maybe - suck the life out of me with her gaze - possibly even stab me and leave me to bleed... But do something dishonest? No. Never.


Felix Gaeta: Hey, these are the wrong ballots! The real ballots have Dr Baltar's name spelled wrong. I should know, after writing "Dr Felix Baltar" in my notebook so many times.. eh, I mean...

Tigh: *grumps* Just let me handle this, OK? You run along. *acts shiftily*

Felix: Hmmm...

Felix, who was a total CRUSH on BALTAR, refuses to let things lie and lets Adama know about THIS. (Why am I doing this random caps thing? It stopped making sense ages ago.)

Bill Adama: What happened, Laura? Did they do this without your knowledge?

Laura: Bill, I had to do something. He tried to come onto me. And he told "your mother is so fat" jokes. It was either that or kill him in his sleep.

Bill: Laura, I know he's horribly embarrassing. But we can't stoop to his level.

Laura: Sniff... I know, but come on, *I* should be president! I'm the hero!

Bill: Yes, you are. Which is why we have to be honorable and lose and let him be the villain he's meant to be.

Gaius: I think it's very strange that someone happened to rig the election in Roslin's favor! As President, I demand an investigation!

Adama: Listen, she may have done something fishy, but she's still the hero and you're the villain so take your presidency and shut up!

We interrupt the sillinness to bring you some really depressing, tragic scenes.

Gaius wants to be together with Gina on New Caprica. But Gina is not coming there. Look at the eyes on these two. Puppy eyes Gaius and Gina so broken yet strong with her no. (L)!!!

And so Gina kills herself and Cloud Nine with her, while Baltar gives his presidential vows. And I have nothing funny to say about this. Even Adama seems to feel kind of sorry for him. No HeadSix, nothing in his empty room. He is alone.

Ron D Moore: "I'm a genius!"
David Eick: "What is it now?"
RDM: "Well, I just thought of how we can smoothly transition from this scene to one year later!"
DE: "Really, how?"
RDM: "We'll zoom in on Baltar's hair, zoom out and write a caption that says ONE YEAR LATER!"
DE: "OMG! You're a genius!"
RDM: "I know!! And you know what would be even cooler? If Baltar doesn't wash his hair at all during that year."
DE: "You are so brilliant. I'm in awe."
RDM: "Me too."

Hookers (in unison): Morning Mr President! Last night was wonderful!

Gaius: Eh...who the fr.. I mean.. thank you, it was my pleasure! ..I think. Where are my drugs? (takes drugs)

Felix: (despisingly) Morning, Mr President.

Gaius: (with equal disdain but way less right to feel that way) You again. What do you want?!

Felix: It's your JOB, Mr President. You promised to meet some people. They're out of medicine and...

Gaius: Oh for frak's sake!! I do so much for these people. Do I not, Felix?

Felix: No.

Gaius: (not listening) Exactly! I slave away here and all they do is complain about the weather!

Felix: Sir, I think you'll find that...

Gaius: Did I ask for your opinion?

Felix: (sighs rather like Kif) No...

Gaius: Shut up then. And tell the union leaders I will have everyone killed unless they listen to me! You're dismissed. Hooker to the left, please expose your boobs.

And so cylons find New Caprica and take it over. Gaius sees HeadSix again, perhaps after a long pause. And then he meets Caprica Six again after a really long pause. I don't have anything particularly funny to say about this, but OMG JAMES AND TRICIA 4EVAH!!!!11