Tuesday, September 29, 2009

My Autograph!

My full autograph on my wall, next to my bed. Now I can look at it anytime and see James' words to me. Once again: Best. Autograph. Ever. (L)!!!

I just had to take a picture with the autograph. I'm feeling happy and touched. Pedda had placed it in a hard envelope with a plastic binder, and I feel like I'm already abusing the paper again, but I just had to take one picture of me with it. As if it's a picture of me with James. Once again, sorry for the poor quality of both my webcam and my cell phone cam. I'll get a proper digital camera sometime soon.

"Hmm, something's missing here..." James adds a dash. :D (Photo by the lovely René Kissien of Caprica-City.)

I got my autograph today. It's long and beautiful and the dents of the marker can be felt with your fingers. James has something I've touched and I have something James has touched. It's all very cosmic. Huge thanks and hugs to Pedda of Caprica-City again!

Dear [real name] -
Thank you so much for your gifts...
so sorry to miss you
- need I ask...
But Do you -
wanna Join my cult?
Membership has its privileges!
Lots of and lots of love always
James Callis xxx
I've already commented on the content in the "Evening With James Callis" post below, but once again - it's the longest and sweetest autograph I've ever seen, and it really sounds genuinely tender. (L)! I wasn't expecting something this personalized, and still can't quite believe it. I feel touched by James in some way. It's hard to explain. I felt a weird panic when I first saw the pictures of him with my autograph, and the same feeling grabbed me for a moment when I opened the letter - like something irrevocable has happened, the REAL James has seen me, and I can't ever take it back. But I'm so happy with how this worked out. In the pictures - I haven't posted some because there are other people in them too - he looks touched and tender, and his words sound the same. It's more than I had expected. *sniff*

I love his handwriting. A lot of men write big choppy letters; there's something delicate about James' writing. He started fairly big and then made the text smaller as he went along, and the three little x's are in the right margin. It's endearing and touching that he wanted to add them. I love how the name itself is so small, like it's an aside and the message is more important. Like it's a letter and not an autograph. There's no s in his name, so it's James Calli. His R's are very inconsistent. The one in "membership" looks more like a v. And I love his L's and I's and D's with their little sails. All of this is so endearing and so James.

Yes, there's a dash after "but do you". And yes - that picture above is him adding the dash in. That's so... :D Why would he add a dash in after the fact? Did he feel something was missing? Or has he seen me make fun of his "dashing" writing skills and so he added it in to amuse me? Hmmm. I'm trying to decipher his expression for possible mischieviousness, but it's really hard to tell. :D I can't believe I have a picture of him drawing a dash - that's almost too perfect.

And yes - I'm very curious about those privileges. I want to join his cult right away. ;)

"Lots and lots of love always". Sniff! I know he writes "lots of love" a lot, but... I can't even write about that one.

He didn't draw a dog, which is the only little disappointment. (I think he ran out of space.) I really don't mind though, because the autograph is so beautiful and personalized. I asked for the dog just in case it would feel a little generic, no matter what he wrote; autographs easily feel that way. But I should have trusted James more, because he really makes them unique. It leaves me something to ask for, in case I meet him some day - I feel like this autograph is unique and once in a lifetime, so I might not want another one, ever. But I can ask him to draw a dog.

It's so touching to look at this printout, the one I held on to on those most depressed days last winter. I looked at it as I first woke up and last thing at night. I kept looking at it throughout the day when I was too tired to do much more than lie in bed. The printout became a symbol of the person I used to be - passionate about something, happy. I wanted to be that person again, and the printout somehow made me feel connected to that. Now I can look at it and think that I lived to see the fall and feel better - and I got to connect with James in some way. There's something beautiful and poetic about that.

I run my fingers on the printout. James and I are touching the same thing, there's only a two week lag. Our universes meet for a moment. I'm his binary messenger.*

* I haven't gone insane, I'm just excited about this.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Poll Post

OK, I added a poll to the sidebar. I'd be interested in seeing what you guys want to see in this blog.

-You can select multiple answers.
-You should be able to vote even if you're not registered/logged in to Blogger. (Let me know if you can't and I'll look into it.)

-If you want to see something not in the list, please elaborate in comments on this post. I'll try to fulfil your wishes (within reason!)

-Children's book parodies refers to something like this.

-Fan ponderings: personal posts about being a fan (there will always be some of this in the transcripts and link posts, so it's not a big loss if you guys don't want to see separate pondering posts).

If no one votes, things will remain exactly as they are. Scary prospect, huh? So vote!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Naughty Gaius is a Nymphomaniac Narcissist

OK, so here's the book I sent James. I made illustrations by hand, and while I did take some photos with my webcam, they are... well, see below.. not particularly good. I was thinking of possibly reproducing some drawings, perhaps on the computer, but for now this is all you're going to get. Sorry.

So the point of the book is to be a parody of children's books. I've made one before, called Naughty Gaius and the Soul-Breaking Guilt, and you can read it here. If this one isn't up to par, just remember I was super nervous, because I knew James would read it.

James looking at my book! The look on his face = absolute best scenario for a reaction. He looks like he gets the joke. He didn't have time to actually read it but I can see he appreciated it. (L)!!! Photo by René Kissien of Caprica-City.

The cover. It's one of the best arrogant poses in my opinion, and the sexy lady seducing him helps make it even more child-friendly.


Nymphomaniac: Someone who thinks about sex all the time and wants to have it with everyone. Naughty Gaius loves sex and is also very good at it. Nymphomaniacs or nymphos have a lot of fun in life, and they can teach us many things. In this book, you can find Gaius' best tips for sex (see pp.100-350).

Narcissist: Someone who thinks only about him- or herself. Other people are there for a reason: to make Gaius' life a little easier. A narcissist has an easy time in life because he or she doesn't have to care about other people's stupid feelings. Imagine it: you could do and say whatever you want, and focus on having fun!

Arrogant: This is what losers call someone who thinks he or she is good. Remember: there is nothing wrong with self-confidence! Gaius thinks he's better than everyone else, and often he is right. After all, he is a genius. (Are you a genius? Who says you're not?)

The clown of fun (and education, though he seems to be letting go of that balloon). I colored him in green, which made him more monster-like. He looked mighty scary to me while coloring. A lovely mascot for a children's book.

Gaius' life is one big party. He meets a lot of beautiful girls and indulges* in drinking and smoking* and, most of all, sex.

Indulge: If you enjoy doing something and do it a lot, that's called indulging. Some lame people try to "control" their lives and stop doing things they enjoy. Remember: you only live once, it's your only chance to indulge. (Or is it? See our book Six the Cylon and the Conundrum of Eternal Life.) Tips for indulging: see chapter 50, Gaius' Great Book of Pleasure.

Indulging in donuts. If James hasn't read my blog, he might not get the reference (I doubt he sees himself as a big donut hog in general), but I don't care. The colorful donuts add a nice childlikeness to the page. To the left: smoking after sex. There's basically four happy-looking dogs smoking. An orgy if you will.

Did you know? Smoking makes you feel good and look cool. You may be too young to buy cigarettes because of stupid laws, but ask your big sister/brother/older friend to buy them for you! It's best to not let Mommy/Daddy/other legal guardian know though, because parents have this stupid idea that children can't smoke. Don't listen to them, they're just trying to stop you from having fun. You don't want to miss out, do you? Start today!

"You can't have fun without alcohol!" This is perhaps the worst picture of them all, because you can basically see only me and my tongue, which always come out when I try to balance something. On top: "Smokers are cool!" (I tried to make this dog look a bit like James, but I'm not sure if it worked.) I drew a fangirl with hearts in her eyes next to that one. Bottom: "Smokers make new friends!" with dogs gleefully smoking and playing poker.

Gaius' Daddy, Julius, is a mean old man. He likes to make his son feel bad and isn't at all proud of everything he's done. Even if Gaius pays for his house and caretaker, Julius is always complaining and making people angry*.

"How much is he paying you?" Julius asks Six*. This makes Gaius so angry that he starts to beat his father with a newspaper. "See how he treats me?" Julius says to Six.

Did you know? This is how people get when they're old. It will also happen to your parents. Even if they're nice to you now, they're going to be horrible when you're a grown up. The only thing you can do is put them in an institution where people are paid to take care of them. You don't have to visit very often. Six also puts Gaius' father in an instituion, and he is finally happy.

Fun tip: You can buy sex from a hooker. If you want attention from your parents, ask your Daddy/stepdaddy if he ever bought sex. Even better, ask Mommy/Stepmommy if she ever sold herself. You're sure to get an answer out of them!

Fact of life: Sometimes you have to resort to violence with your old parents. It's not "right" or "wrong", it just is like that.

Angry Old Person. (I drew blood into the cane as well.) To the right, not pictured: "Hooker dog is censored". (You could see her legs and high heels though.)

Dear Mother/Father/Other Legal Guardian!

So, that's the end of our intergalactic sample of Naughty Gaius is a Nymphomaniac Narcissist! How did you like it? Or let's put it this way: how much did you LOVE it?

A. Enough to buy the entire 500-page opus? Yay! All you have to do is contact us and we will send you a copy! Prices:

Hardcover: $ 700 plus postage (to be announced later)

Paperback: $ 650 plus postage (see above)

B. Not enough to buy it? Sigh. Well, it's your choice. We respect your decision to deprive your children of fun and wholesome education. However, since we did work so hard at making this booklet for you, you still owe us $ 300 plus postage ($ 100). Be fair, or hear from our collection agency later!


Appropriate Children's Books Ltd.

I think I scribbled in an autograph that said "Appropriate Children's Books Ltd" in really messy handwriting, but I'm not sure.

Back cover:

Don't forget our other entertaining and educational titles!

Crafty Kara Goes Drunk and Disorderly

Crafty Kara and the Quixotic Quadrangle

Crafty Kara and the Corroding Corpse

Toolman Tyrol is a Woeing Widower

Toolman Tyrol and the Fading Fatherhood

Toolman Tyrol and the Strangling Rage

Written and illustrated by Deniselle

Bound by Elina

Guarantee: This book was handled with care by two (2) loving fangirls and warm thoughts were sent to you while making it.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

James Callis on Fan Mail

A new post from James! :) This is especially to people who have written him fan mail and have yet to receive a response. Posted today in the Unofficial website forum, I'm reproduding the whole thing with webmaster Janine's permission.

Fan mail
Sep 24, 2009 - 3:38PM

Dear All,

Just dropping a line,

- because it has come to my notice that there are several people - who have written to me for an autograph in the last 12 months - whom I haven't replied to...

There's a simple reason - I have several addresses and am rarely in one place for more than a few months.

So people send a request to my managers and then they send it on to my home address - where I have a redirection order to wherever I maybe currently -

this means that in practice I receive the mail at least 6 months after it has been originally sent...

people who wrote me last year have the added fun of having their mail sent from l.a to canada (where we shot BSG) then back from canada to L.A - onto London and if I wasn't in London then it gets sent back to L.A and either gets sent on again or awaits me there

If it sounds convoluted - it is!

I can only apologize to the many people who are still waiting (I'm sure they're not trawling this site in hope of an answer- but this is the only way really I can get that message out).

I promise if I receive it I will reply - it just takes a long while and whoever is waiting will have to have the patience of a whole hoard of saints!

Otherwise in Blightey but briefly and am off stateside pretty shortly for a while... having just moved house again and arrived back from India a few weeks ago

All good my end with one of the three kids guaranteeing that neither Neha or I sleep through the night...but you know we wouldn't have it any other way

Otherwise I wish you all well

and send love and hugs


james xxx

Ever the sweet guy, James sounds genuinely sorry he hasn't been able to respond to everyone. I hope the message goes out to the people who have written him.

Blightey=UK, I guess? :D James' life always sounds so stressful. I don't know how he does it, but it sounds very intriguing that he's going to the States - perhaps we'll hear about a new US show or movie soon? The sleepless nights are just one of the reasons I'm never having children - but I imagine he's also very happy in a way I don't understand. (Neha is his wife, to those who don't know.)

The smilie in the end is very endearing. Maybe he's excited to talk to us and it makes him all gleeful.

(And lots of dashes, especially in the first paragraphs! ;) Our dashing man!)

Love and hugs right back at ya, James! :*

Sunday, September 13, 2009

An Evening With James Callis

An Evening With James Callis took place in Bonn, Germany, on the 12th of September, 2009. About 100 people were present for a 90-minute panel, photo session and autograph session.

Scifi-trek.de has a video of the full panel. You can download or stream it on this page. There are two download links, the one below is higher quality. For Mac users: alt+click on the links to download the video. The panel is a MUST SEE for all James fans - perhaps the best panel ever, with lots of humor and in-depth answers. And he does those typical James faces all along. He's so animated, the camera can barely follow him sometimes. Lots of fun to watch.

There's also an audio stream of the full panel at VDVD Magazine, here.

Two brief video goodies:
James saying bye to some fans. Awww, so sweet! You know, I think I like that scarf even better than the rest of the outfit. I'm in love with the scarf. And the man wearing it.

James says hello to Caprica.de, before signing autographs. Strangely he looks more tired here than in the other video. His hair looks a bit toussled by the fangirls. :D

Many thanks for the photos below to René Kissien of Caprica-City. More of his pictures at kixxa's blog here.

James Callis with the Caprica City mascot, Schwein.

Pictures from the panel:

OMG Scarf!

OMG Chest Hair!

"And Tricia is like this tall..." (I'm just guessing :D)

And then the photos with MY STUFF OMG (L) (L) (L)

Apparently my name proved a little challenging, as he needed a cheat sheet (see the envelope being held for him.) So cute! :D Don't worry James, nobody gets it right the first time!

Best. Autograph. Ever. He looks so kind, poring over that. (L)!!! Oh James!

A large gallery of photos! He looks so gorgeous. Here. Photos by Evelyne J aka aa_eve_aa

Another photo gallery here. Lots of lovely Jamesy expressions! I'm kinda obsessed with that scarf, and I love the pictures where he touches it. Scarf fetish?

And some more photos here. It says James was a very calm guest, and in the photo session he was completely relaxed and let people do what they wanted. (Hence the photo of two girls kissing him. Yeah, I'm sure they had to twist his arm! :D)

This was the first picture:
He looks SO beautiful. The hair is still long, we've got glasses and ... some kind of English professor getup, complete with vest? Hee! See the picture here. SO HOT.

There's going to be a separate post with a transcript of the panel. I'm going to transcribe the whole thing - and kixxa's offered to help in case my fingers fall off while doing it - but it might take me a while. It's a really great panel, maybe the best one ever. He really expands on some things that we've heard in previous panels and there are some new things as well. Here's just a little teaser. It's about Rubins and Meet Pursuit Delange.

I've been involved in something in England, a pilot... [Meet Pursuit Delange] It's a rather difficult thing to describe. It was a comedy and it was very risqué, very very risqué. It was so risqué that the pilot possibly won't be made. People are interested perhaps in a movie that will be loess risqué. Do you understand risqué? Essentially risqué is rude.. rude or crude, or both. I play this guy who was a wannabe, he wanted to be involved in the media in some way. And he's very naïve and a bit... sweet, like a nice guy, sweet, but he meets up with an old school friend who never was actrually his friend at school. And the old school firend is really mean, really nasty. So it's like a duo between myself who was like Bambi and my friend who was like Satan. (laughter) It was very funny to do.

About Rubins:

It's kind of a bittersweet comedy. Do you have, in Germany, do you have a show like The Apprentice... so you've got your own Donald Trump? A German version of Donald Trump? -You don't? You just get Donald Trump? Well, in England we have this guy called Alan Sugar, who runs The Apprentice. And he's um... terribly successful businessman but started from very humble beginnings. And the character that I played in this film is.. wants to be a business magnate, and is actually rather... unpleasant, naïve..

There's just been something on the news about what I was doing on the film... Which I didn't... when I got the script, I was... It's true, and that's on the news at ten. There's all this mining going on in Africa for [ore?] that ends up in our mobile phones. Do you know about this? Some of you do. You go to the top of the class, the people who do. [laughs] Anyway, there's all this stuff that it's a huge conflict. Mobile or cell phones are a billion dollar industry and business. We're all slaves to being on the mobile phones. But it's causing wars and havoc in Africa where people are being paid nothing. They spend their whole lives mining this stuff out of the Earth. And that's something I was doing in the film. I was very unscrupulous.

And uh, possibly some other stuff... Until I actually got the job, until I'm actually on the set, I don't really like to talk about it. Our industry is so up and down. I have been quoted before going, "You'll see me in this." And it doesn't really happen. So you'll see, watch this space.
Also, a tweet:

Really nice event.Very easy going.he was even later eating in same room and saying goodbye at every table. No charge ;)

Yay! :) Sounds like he was in a good mood and the con was a very relaxed one.

Mindless fangirl gushing

This time, the con was a bit more personal for me, because I also sent James a little something and got his autograph (see the posts below this one for more details on what I sent). I was very anxious about his reaction, and the autograph and the photos were a very important, very positive experience.

HUGE thanks to Pedda of Caprica City for getting me James' autograph! It reads:
Dear [real name] -
Thank you so much for your gifts...
So sorry to miss you
Need I ask -
But do you wanna join my cult?
Membership has its privileges.
Lots and lots of love always
James Callis xxx
(L) (L) (L) OMG James.

Best. Autograph. Ever.
A. It's really long.
B. I know it's easy to write all that "sorry to miss you" and "lots of love" stuff but I am totally going to think he means it. See above how tender he looks writing it (unless I'm just seeing things...)
C. "Need I ask"? :D Hee! But James, I started your cult! Jamus? Somebody needs to get him a leaflet. And I'm going to take that "Membership has its privileges" thing as flirtation.
F. He has his arms over the picture. I'm totally checking for arm hairs when I get it.
H. Oh James! (L)

I guess what I wished for was just a bit of James' kindness. It's the thing I love the most about him, and I've seen him be so kind at others, I was hungry for it. I wanted him to be kind at me. I feel like I got even more than I wanted, and my cup runneth over a little. But I'm just really happy and touched by this. I was concerned that maybe I'm hoping for too much and I'll be disappointed no matter what he writes. But it seems like he really understood how much this means to me and was willing to give me some of his kindness.
It really means a lot.

I think I'm going to save some money and go to a con myself and report from there. We'll see when and if I can actually afford that, but I'm not nervous anymore. I'm not anxious about meeting him. Obviously there's nothing to worry about. I feel really good about this.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

8 Days Til "An Evening With James Callis"

Great art was bound today as Elina helped me with my book for James. The one and only copy of Naughty Gaius is a Nymphomaniac Narcissist will be leaving for Germany tomorrow or Monday the latest (if I can't get my arse out of bed in time).

The reason it's that way around is... well, it was printed that way so it wouldn't fit vertically :P I thought of doing the book backwards like Hebrew books are, kinda fitting with the Jewish theme, but the pretty bows Elina made wouldn't be on the front then. She brought the yarn and punched the holes with my scissors, after we discovered that my old hole-puncher has a rust issue. I glued some pages, Elina glued some others, and the glue, as she can testify, was very clumpy and difficult to use. The result is... endearing... I'm sure he's gotten some self-made gifts from his kids, so it's similar. It's the thought that counts!

This book was bound with love by two fangirls. We also prayed to Jamus over it and sent our thoughts. The content is all mine, but I like the fact that there was some Lupine cooperation used in making the actual book.

We also had a deep and meaningful discussion about many things, including the BSG actors' names - Tahmoh's is the most original, but Callis is easy to remember - and James' very attractive blend of fat and muscle (belly and arms, respectively). If you want to donate to the Jamus religion - especially for James worshippers - you can do so. And really, you probably should.

PS. I have rejected a comment. Just in case there really is a Susan who reads my blog and will keep reading it very often, I apologize. You can re-post your comment without the poker link and it'll get through. Otherwise, nice try, spambot.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Miniseries: The Recap (Gaius/Six focused)

Cross-posted at BSG: The Journey Home - a Gaius/Six rewatch community.

I was told to write a brief and concise recap, and I have a feeling this isn't quite it. I cannot write brief. I tried not to try to be funny or insightful and just write down my observations, because I hate overdone recaps. I just briefly skimmed thru the scenes with others, and wrote down the gist of it, but I haven't deep-analyzed them. And really, I tried to not deep-analyze the Six/Gaius scenes either, so there'd be something left to discuss. I might not have time to post anything else until the weekend, but you know, discuss. I'll be back.

A Six - not Caprica - walks in wearing a red jacket and skirt. The man clearly doesn't know what to think. A human being with the cylons? "Are you alive?" the Six asks the man as she leans over to him. "Y-yes," the man stammers. "Prove it," Six whispers and they kiss. Suddenly a cylon baseship attacks the ship the guy's on. "It's begun," Six says. Any shippers for these lovebirds?

-Elsewhere: credits. JAMES CALLIS and TRICIA HELFER, most notably. Old rusty Battlestar Galactica is retiring, and so is old rusty Bill Adama. Tyrol and his men have found Adama's old plane and a picture of him with his sons. He is touched. Starbuck and Tigh get into a fight, and Starbuck gets sent into the brig. Bill and Saul talk about Starbuck; Bill likes her, Saul does not. In CAPRICA CITY, CAPRICA, Laura Roslin gets the diagnosis for advanced (breast) cancer. Next we see her on a plane with PA Billy. She hides her feelings and only allows herself to fall apart a little in the bathroom.-

Caprica Six walks through the market place in Caprica City. She stops to look at a little baby boy. The proud mother lets her hold him, and she says, "So light.. so fragile..." all creepily. The baby cries a little, and Six tells him, "You won't have to cry much longer", which seems pretty ominous. The mother picks up on this and tells her they should be going. Six observes how surprising it is that the fragile neck can carry such a heavy head, and the mom looks creeped out, but as she looks away for a moment, Six snaps said fragile neck. Six walks away very fast, and as we hear the mother scream, Six's eyes fill with tears. Our first tip that she's not all machine.

The first time we see Gaius Baltar, he's sitting in front of his TV, which is apparently an interactive one, giving an interview. His house looks very stylish and very, very expensive. Notably, he's wearing the same outfit HeadBaltar wears - the pin-striped black suit that makes him look very dapper. The embodiment of arrogance, he smarmily compliments the host. Asked about his views on technology, he explains that the cylon threat is long gone and fear shouldn't hamper the development of new technology. This is all very ironic, but he doesn't know it yet.

Six comes in, notably NOT wearing a red dress. She lays her handbag - or suitcase? It's metal but looks light - on a desk. She looks at Baltar across the room with adoration.

And they're at it. This first sex scene was the first thing they filmed, and while they're doing a good job, I do seem to sense some awkwardness (particularly from James, who had less experience with being naked on camera). It's not something that particularly bugs me, though; it's easy to imagine that, after all their time together, Baltar still finds Six's immense physical power both a turn-on and a bit scary. How many women can throw their man onto the bed like that?

Before they get that far, though, Six stops to ask if Gaius missed him - maybe his body did, but did his heart and soul? "Do you love me, Gaius?" The answer is obvious as Gaius stops in his tracks, horrified. Six saves face by claiming she was only kidding, and Gaius is visibly relieved. He probably thinks they'll be laughing at this five years from now when they're no longer exclusively seeing each other. As they make love, Six's spine starts to glow. "I'm so hot, Gaius," she moans. I'll say.

-Elsewhere: Lee Adama arrives on Galactica and is arrogant and rude. Tyrol and Boomer get into an argument, which leads to sex. Lee Adama has no respect for his Daddy.-

Back in the market place, Gaius and Six are walking together. Gaius arrogantly smokes a cigarette and then arrogantly tells her his program has been a success. (Actually, just assume he does everything arrogantly until Six tells him the truth.) Six points out that she deserves a little credit too. "I rewrote half your algorithms," she reminds him. He admits to this, but says she benefited too: "all that poking in the defense mainframe" will further her career. Dun dun dun!

Six says she has a meeting, and Gaius jokes he's very jealous. "I doubt it," says Six in a voice that suggests she's not completely joking. Gaius says he must go anyway. "I have a meeting too - business," he quickly adds. I'm sure. He walks away, and Six turns to meet SOMEONE or SOMETHING. "About time," she says. "I was wondering when you'd get here."

-Elsewhere: Laura Roslin and Billy get on board. Billy gets lost and meets Dualla. Roslin and Adama get into a little spat over technology (Roslin for, Adama against). Lee and Kara have a heart to heart. You can tell they're going to fall for each other. -

Gaius' house, night time. Six is sitting in a chair in the darkness of his bedroom. "Gaius," she says softly. Then louder: "Gaius!" Gaius sits up in the bed, as does a brunette. Oops. She asks who Six is. "Get out," Six tells her in a chilly voice. Gaius, unable to look either woman in the eye, babbles that Six is just a friend - then adds, "Well, more than a friend.. when I say friend..." Hee. It's all very feeble.

Six has no time for this: "Get out. Now." Her tone is creepy. Gaius sheepishly looks at the woman and she storms out. When she's gone, he starts to get dressed while giving Six his very weak "it's not you, it's me" speech: "It's a flaw in my character, one which I'm trying to overcome..." He still can't look at her. Six tells him to spare her from his excuses; she has come to tell him something. She's calm, despising and kinda scary, but as the camera zooms in on her eyes, we see she's fighting back tears.

-Elsewhere: Lee Adama still doesn't like his Daddy. Bill Adama blames himself for the death of his other son. Lee also blames him for it.-

Dawn is breaking as Six and Gaius are having their heart-to-heart. Gaius is mocking and disbelieving, but it seems like deep down he believes her. Six says she's a woman. Gaius, despisingly: "You're a synthetic woman. A robot." Six points out she's repeated it a few times, and Gaius says he doesn't believe her, because cylons are supposed to look like "walking chrome toasters". This is the first time cylons are referred to as toasters. Six says calmly that those models are still in use.

"Prove it!" Gaius says. Six says he believes her, because he's always known there was something different about her. "And you believe me because it flatters your ego, to believe that alone among all the billions of people of the twelve Colonies, you were chosen for my mission..." She says this in a mocking tone, like she enjoys her grip over him. Gaius is all "Mission?!", and she has to remind him about the defense main frame.

For a moment, Gaius looks like a scared child again, staring off into space. But it doesn't take too long for him to start washing his hands: "This had nothing to do with me!" Six, calm and composed, finds time to marvel at his skill for self-deception. "How do you do it?" she asks teasingly. Gaius points out that he might be facing death penalty for treason. Six doesn't seem too concerned for him. He takes the phone to call his attorney, but she tells him it won't be necessary: "There won't be anyone left to charge you with anything." Gaius just stares at her. "The children of humanity are returning home. Tonight." Gaius lays down the phone as he realizes what this means. A light flashes in the horizon.

-Elsewhere: There's a ceremony on Galactica. Bill Adama ad libs some of his speech, and it's clearly about him and Lee. Lee is touched.-

Gaius is watching three channels at once, all reporting the same thing: the cylon attack is underway. As each channel goes blank, he looks completely devastated. "What have I done? What will I do now? There's no way out." He hangs his head and cries. Six looks on with what seems like genuine compassion. Gaius realizes she hasn't made any plans to get away. "How are you leaving?" he demands. The bright light of a nuke meets his eye and he screams like a child. There's something amusing about that, even if I might do the same in that situation. Six sadly tells him she can't die; she'll be downloaded. "I'll just wake up somewhere else in an identical body." Gaius asks if there are more like her out there. "There are twelve models. I'm number six," Six tells him and the viewers. "I don't want to die," Gaius cries in panic. "Get down!" Six shouts and covers him as the nuke hits the house.

-Adama receives word about the cylon attack. Boomer and Helo are attacked and their plane is damaged. Lots and lots of SPACE BATTLES take place. Laura Roslin takes over Colonial One.-

Helo and Boomer have landed their broken plane on Caprica. Helo's watching mushroom clouds in the horizon and counts that he's seen six now. Just as Boomer gets it fixed, a bunch of people come running, among them one Gaius Baltar. He trips over and falls, and someone seems to walk all over him, but he gets up all determined.

-Elsewhere: Lee Adama and Aaron Doral meet on Colonial One. Lee is still arrogant.-

Helo and Boomer try to keep the people out, saying it's not a rescue ship. The crowd demands that children at least get on board, and they oblige. They have room for three more people after that. Gaius, among others, quickly raises his arm. He's all about survival still, so I don't think the guilt has fully hit him. Boomer says they will make lottery tickets and draw three numbers. Completely unbiased decision. People agree to this.

-Elsewhere: Space fighting takes place.-

Later on, the third number is called, and it's 47. Gaius does not have the winning ticket. An old woman next to him asks what her paper reads. Of course, it reads 47, and Gaius gives her a shifty look that suggests he might consider cheating. Suddenly Helo calls out, "Aren't you Gaius Baltar?" Gaius quickly responds with, "I haven't done anything!", which would make me very suspicious, but doesn't seem to affect Helo. Gaius tells everyone the woman has the winning number and gallantly walks her across the crowd. Helo decides to give up his seat for Gaius, because the fleet can use his brilliant mind. Boomer resist, almost in tears. "Look at those clouds and tell me this isn't the end of everything," Helo says. Boomer agrees, but kind of angrily. Gaius is very quick to get into the ship before anyone changes their mind. As he gets on, he sees HeadSix in the crowd for the first time, glowing in her red dress. But when he looks back, there's only a ratty old man there.

-Elsewhere: Colonial One receives word that President Adar and the cabinet are all dead, and Laura Roslin has to step in as president. Laura says to Lee she never wanted to be in politics. She takes her vows, first with a trembling voice, then more stern. Lots of press record the moment.
A random kid named Boxey talks to Boomer, who says she also lost her parents when she was little.-

On the ship, Gaius sees HeadSix again. She's glowing and tells him this is why she loves him: "You're a survivor." She disappears as Gaius shakes his head. This won't work for much longer. Gaius looks overcome by guilt and shame again, and he hangs his head.

Gaius gets on board Colonial One. Boomer's talking to Lee as we see him stepping out of the plane. Boomer says Helo gave up his seat for Gaius, "I hope he's worth it!" she snaps loud enough for him to hear. Gaius looks at her with a cute "what did I do NOW?" expression. Lee tells Gaius that the president has asked to see him. "President Adar is alive?" Gaius says, freaked out. You can tell he thinks he's survived only to get sentenced to death. Lee tells him there's a new president, and Gaius is relieved.

President Laura Roslin is happy to see Gaius. How many times was Laura actually happy to see him? Maybe we should count them. She tells him they met last year. Gaius stammers that he's not good at remembering faces, but Laura doesn't get offended: "I wouldn't remember me either." She gets back to business and tells Gaius she wants him to be her scientific advisor in all matters cylon.

-Leoben Conoy is found hiding somewhere in the storage rooms. He's all kinds of creepy. -

Six appears again as Gaius is working on some papers. He tries to ignore her, but she tells him it won't help. He says he's decided she's just a part of his subconscious trying to deal with all this. Sounds like a nice scientific explanation, and typical of him. "So I'm... only in your head?" Six asks flirtily. She torments him by asking, "Have you considered the possibility that I might very well be only in your head without being a hallucination?" She suggests the cylons implanted a chip in his head - a theory we now know to be false, but it's a nice little mindfrak. Gaius looks like he's horrified, but tries to play it cool.

Six asks what he's working on. gaius snaps, "If you're in my head, you know." "Indulge me," Six says sexily, but at the same time, kinda scarily. Gaius says he's trying to figure out how the cylons got to the colonial defense programs. He says it was Six's work, and Six admits to this. She says she had other motives than being programmed: "What I want most of all is for you to love me. Don't you know - God is love?" She leans in to kiss him... and then he yells "NO!" and she's gone. I had forgotten how she kept disappearing in these first scenes. I'm kind of glad she didn't later on. I think their interactions are more interesting when he's tormented by her presence, but also likes her being there, as his only ally.

-Elsewhere: Leoben and Adama somehow manage to get stuck in the gutter together. Leoben is still being all kinds of weird and Adama gets suspicious. Laura Roslin has to make her first decision as president and let some people die, including a cute little girl. She feels burdened by her responsibility.-

Billy Keikeya shows Gaius to the CIC. He stops to ask Dualla for directions. Dualla leans over and kisses him passionately, which is a surprise to both guys. Gaius gives Billy a very comical look. "Really? This guy?" he seems to be thinking. I bet he has a newfound respect for Billy.

-Tyrol kisses Boomer with much passion and relief. Boomer has apparently adopted Boxey. Whatever. There's some more Kara/Lee, but we're ignoring that, right? Adama figures out Leoben is a cylon, and he tries to deny it, but he's looking like the living dead so it's pretty obvious. -

This is an important scene, because it's the first one between Gaius and Felix Gaeta. It's also the first time Gaius has to talk to a "real" person and ignore HeadSix. So we're setting up two series-long themes here.

Technobabble: the cylons implanted a virus into the colonial defense system, thus disabling them. Gaeta tells Gaius that Galactica is not in any networks, and Gaius thinks this will protect the ship from any harm. Still, he wants to test the systems. He's putting on his arrogant face again and acting very important.

Gaeta wants to linger a bit longer and stops to say, compassionately, that this must be so hard for Gaius. Unfortunately, Gaius has no idea what he's talking about. "The guilt?" Gaeta tries. Six appears and leans in to say, "I remember you telling me once that guilt is something small people feel when they run out of excuses for their behavior." I love that quote. Very Baltar. Gaius tries very hard to not look freaked out by Six, but you can see him jolt in horror. He tells Gaeta, in the same tone he used with Six earlier when he talked about this flaw in his character: "It is...hard... I feel... responsible... in a way...for what happened..."

Six tells Gaius she loves him precisely because he doesn't feel guilty: "You have a clarity of spirit. You're not burdened by conscience, or guilt, or regret..." I'm intrigued by this quote, but we can discuss it more later. Gaeta warmly tells him not to beat himself up: "It's not like you knew what they were doing." Gaius rolls his eyes to signal he couldn't know, one of those hilarious looks he has. Six torments him, her tone going from amused, to angry, to seductive:

"It's not like you knew you were lying... It's not like you were breaking the law... It's not like you cheat on women...It's not like the world's coming apart and all you could think of was Gaius Baltar."
She sits on the console, almost into his lap.

As Six strokes his hair, Gaius is clearly trying to keep his thoughts clear while his libido is winning: "No, I know... exactly what you're saying... I know." Gaeta looks at him nonplussed and then leaves. Is he a little disappointed in his hero already? Or did this meeting make him all the more fascinated with this brilliant yet weird man? Discuss.

Six is enjoying this and tells Gaius, "I really hope you make it out of this alive. I think we could have a real future together." He says bitterly, "That would be special," and Six takes offense at his tone. She says he's all sarcastic when she's helping him. Gaius asks how she's helping, so she demonstrates by turning his head into the right direction. Turns out there's a cylon device between two consoles. That's what she had in her suitcase in the earlier scenes, as a flashback shows us. Gaius says she told him it was an electronic organizer. "That would be a lie," whispers Six. I'm not sure how their electronic organizers look, but come on. It looks like a set of speakers to me. Gaius realizes what this means - there's another cylon on Galactica.

Gaius goes in for a closer look, trying hard to appear casual as he goes around and round the computers. Gaeta walks by and taps his shoulder - shippers, take note - and asks if everything's going ok. Gaius says he's just going to check one more time that the computers are fine. As he gets back into his chair, Six shows up again and Gaius tells him she's not helping. He asks what the device is for, and she pretends (?) she doesn't know. He says he needs to warn the others. She ad libs a whole conversation between him and the Galactica crew, ending with "I forgot to mention I'm familiar with their technology because I've slept with a cylon for the last two years." She's really enjoying this. Gaius says he'll think of something.

Six - or Gaius, depending on how you interpret HeadSix - has a one-track mind and puts her hand down his pants, causing much pleasure. Just as Gaius cocks his head back and moans, Aaron Doral shows up with a list of ships who use his program. It takes Gaius quite a while to recover. Doral asks, "Are you OK? You look a little flushed." Gaius snaps that he's OK and Doral wanders off to do whatever he's supposedly doing on that ship. He seems very suspicious now that I know he's a cylon.

Gaius has thought of something, i.e. lying that Doral is a cylon. He's an easy suspect since he's been walking around the ship unwatched, yet he's an outsider. "I don't remember seeing him in any cylon parties", Six says. That's the same line Cavil used on Chief Tyrol when he was suspecting he's a cylon. I guess it's safe to assume that this joke means the person IS a cylon. Gaius notes there is a problem. "Morally?" Six mocks. "Practically," Gaius says and looks at her sternly. How will they reveal that "cylons look like us now", without getting him caught?

-Elsewhere: Leoben Conoy's body is carried away. Tigh is horrified that "the cylons look like us now". Well, that takes care of that problem. Tigh says anyone could be a cylon, which is very ironic for obvious reasons. Tigh tells Adama Lee is alive. Lee and Adama meet and hug, realizing they only have each other now. They tear up. -

Tigh, Adama and Gaius are in Adama's quarters having a very confidential meeting. Tigh says Leoben had everything a human body has. Gaius tries hard to look horrified and shocked, and adds that there were synthetic compounds found during the cremation. "So he was a cylon?" he says, feigning disbelief (very poorly). Adama and Tigh tell him they need him. "Word has it you're a genius," Tigh says. Gaius has to restrain a big smile and is obviously trying to come up with some modest way of agreeing. He settles for "I'll do my best, Commander." Adama and Tigh are very calm and matter-of-fact and a stark contrast to Gaius' eye-bulging. How do they not suspect something? They tell him to keep it under his hat. "I'll be very discreet," Gaius promises.

-Elsewhere: Starbuck is sent on a mission. She tells Lee that his dead brother should have failed his pilot's test, but Starbuck let him thru because they were a couple.-

Doral is very discreetly arrested in the hallway by a bunch of armed guards.

Brig. Doral's already in handcuffs, shouting protests at them. Tigh asks why he isn't sick from radiation, like Leoben was. Gaius says that it must take effect slowly. Tigh asks if he's sure, and Gaius looks so obviously guilty you'd think Tigh can see right thru him. To his credit, Tigh does look pretty suspicious, but that could just be his usual "I hate people" look. Gaius babbles some nonsense about how he analyzed Doral's hair and it had synthetic fibres. He's clearly made it all up, but he does have it on paper in case Tigh should want evidence. "I'll take your word for it," grumps Tigh who couldn't care less about science. This is probably what Gaius was counting on. Six appears, clapping her hands: "And just like that, Dr Baltar invents the AMAZING cylon detector!" It's hard to tell if she's mocking or admiring, or both at the same time.

Tigh says everyone on board has to be tested. As he's already leaving, Gaius turns back as if he just now remembered that Doral seemed.. very interested.. in this strange device in the CIC. He's actually lying uncharacteristically well here, acting like he's not sure if he should even be saying this. Six ties her arms around him like a snake and says admiringly that his brain should be tested. Doral acts like he has no idea what this is about, so he's either a good liar or a sleeper agent. Gaius casts nervous glances at him. I maintain he's feeling guilty, but my girlfriend thought it's just fear of being found out.

-Elsewhere: the device is taken down. Tigh blames himself for not noticing it, and tells Gaeta to take the device to Baltar for testing.
Adama shows up at Roslin's quarters. He wants to stay to fight the war. Roslin tells him that there are only 50 000 people left alive, and they need to escape the cylons and make babies to survive. When Adama hears how many cylon fleets there are waiting for them, he decides they will all jump away and escape like Roslin suggested. The only "person" left behind: Aaron Doral.

SPACE BATTLES are fought.

Adama lies to people that they're going to find Earth, even if he doesn't even believe Earth exists. People say "So say we all" a lot.

Tigh and Starbuck talk. Tigh admits she was brave in combat, and apologizes to her, even if it seems to require a lot of him. Starbuck tells him he's weak, and a drunk. Harsh.

Adama tells Roslin that sometimes you need to lie so people can have hope and survive.-

Gaius is walking down the corridor, HeadSix at his heels. She tells him cylons will get them, and informs him about sleeper agents. Gaius says they will find the cylons among them. "We? You are not on their side, Gaius," Six tells him, but he's not fazed. For the first time, Gaius turns to face her with a stern look, controlling the situation. "I am NOT on anybody's side," he says and just walks away, leaving HeadSix to stand and think, as if she's a separate character outside of him. Which I guess she was. Awesome.

-Adama finds a note saying "There are only twelve cylon models." Doral really IS a cylon. So is Boomer. I'm sure you're all very surprised at this point.-