Sunday, January 23, 2011

What Should James Do Next?

Haven't done these in a while, and since there are no news about James' real roles, it's a good timing for MY ideas.

TV. Thriller/comedy/detective show.
Agent A (Tricia Helfer) is sexy, flashy and bad-assy. She can whip the crooks into shape, or she can wear a sexy cape. Agent O (James Callis) is a klutz and silly putz. He has failed his agent exam five years in a row, every day he is going "D'Oh!" He's being trained by a reluctant Agent A, and together they get into trouble-bay. But fall in love they may... ;)

F****ED UP
Movie. Comedy/Sexism.
Nicky (James Callis) is just a Regular Guy (tm). He loves his beer. He loves his video games. He loves to watch the game, no matter what sport. He loves to hang out with his manchild buddies and make gay jokes. What he loves the most of all is casual sex. But what happens when a drunken sexcapade in Vegas turns into an unwanted marriage? And then the next morning, the chick (Katherine Heigl) refuses to get a divorce? Nicky is unwittingly thrown into matrimony and all of its expectations. So unfair!!! Written and directed by Judd Apatow.

Movie. Um... I have no idea.
Albert Alfraudschister (James Callis) has the same dream every night: everyone thinks he has died, and is surprised to see him alive. One day, he wakes up to find his obituary in the paper, and when he calls his parents, they cry out of relief. When a mysterious man appears who looks exactly like him and is dead, things begin to truly unravel. Who is Albert (James), and who did he used to be? Has a part of him died? He becomes unable to know reality from dreams. Then stuff happens that is too weird to even write about. The title is never explained. Written and directed by David Lynch.


Robyn E. Kenealy said...

1) You nailed Judd Apatow. How is it that a) he wrote the ASTOUNDING 'Freaks and Geeks' and b) writes AMAZINGLY naturalistic dialogue between guys and yet, c) he has since been unable to write a non-offensively cliched female character since his days of TV glory?

2) I would really enjoy seeing James Callis in a David Lynch film. I don't think he could do Kyle McLauchlan's "innocence/naivete" thing, but he could do this Woody Allenish "zomg I'm out of my depth" thing that would work almost as well.


Deniselle said...

Wow, wtf? Apatow wrote Freaks and Geeks?! I mean his movies are like "manchild is upset he can't go on living like he did when he was 15"... That's so odd.

That's interesting, you don't think James could do the innocent/naïve thing? I gotta think about this. I think he has an innocence to him, but maybe he seems too wise? I would totally love to see him in a Lynch film. Those films are all about how real the actors can make it seem. Because, you know, they're so dreamlike.

Catherine said...

You know what I would loooove to see James in. Mad Men. I think he'd definitely pull of the whole 60's look.

Would also loooove to see him in Doctor Who as the Doctor. Callis for 12!

Robyn E. Kenealy said...

I know, right? Once you know about 'Freaks and Geeks' it makes all of Apatow's writing since then exponentially worse. I can't tell you how much I hate 'Knocked Up', not even just the content (because not being together when you have a baby is not acceptable now? Even if you are an unsuitable couple?) but mostly it's because all the men have personalities and the women don't.

The men have these... interests, and this beautifully written, real feeling banter. But even the scene where the women are talking together - what do they do? SIT IN A BED AND EAT ICECREAM AND TALK ABOUT MEN!!! The one scene I liked was when Supporting Wife told off Supporting Husband about his fantasy baseball.

But the thing I hate even more, and that I always hate, is the fact that Manchild COULD live like he was 15, forever, or at least to all intents and purposes (he might have to learn to do dishes, but he can keep his toys.) IF, that is, HE GOES OUT WITH A GEEKY WOMAN LIKE HIM INSTEAD OF SOME UNOBTAINABLE SUPERMODEL WHO DOES NOT LIKE HIM!!! ARRRRGH. I actually find the Apatow canon personally offensive in that regard.

Dear Judd,
Why do your geeky guys never go out with geeky girls? Not all women demand high standards of home behavior, and even when and if we do, sometimes we share the interests of our chosen partner, the standards are negotiable and hopefully compatible with our chosen partner. I'm a freaking cartoonist for christ's sake- re: the Forty Year Old Virgin, I'd have found the title character's collection of action figures AMAZING, not sad and pathetic.

Also, I want my husband to do some of the housework BECAUSE I HAVE TWO JOBS OUTSIDE THE HOME, AND HOUSEWORK IS WORK. Yet, your movies present it as if it were little more than a symbolic trial for men to become adults. I'm actually MORE ASHAMED to tell my husband to do some more work because of your movies. They make me feel like a cliched, personality-less nag.

And then I think about Lindsey and how great she was I really just kind of hate you. Please get a woman co-writer.


About James: I'd have to see it to believe it. I haven't seen it yet, is what I'm saying - all of his roles have an undercurrent of knowing awkwardness. But that could be the roles - I think he could carry a Lynch film, and I'd certainly be into it.

ps: sorry about the rant.

Deniselle said...

OMG, Mad Men is like my nr 1 wish for James. I try not to think about it bc it irks me so much he hasn't been invited into it already! He'd be PERFECT. Perfect.

Not sure about Dr Who - he'd get a lot more coverage in the media foor sure, and many new fans! Yet I'm not sure if I'd like him to do more sci fi right away. He doesn't seem to know either.

Robyn, well, YES on your whole "rant" - it's true, wtf is with Apatow's women? I think Katherine Heigl and especially her sister were really unbearable on Knocked Up. When the sister was all, "He's overweight already, he has really bad genes", I wanted to scream at her. Hard. So much wrong with that scene alone.

Catherine said...

He really would be perfect for Mad Men. I really wish they do ask him. Not a whole lot of time left to do so.

Deniselle said...

What I'd like the very most of all is for him to STAR in one of those intelligent HBO shows. Tony Soprano, Paul Weston, Don Draper... I could totally see him as one of those characters. Deep and varied as Gaius, a full human being- type character.

Maybe he's a little young for that yet. Maybe not. I hope he gets that role some day.

Catherine said...

Yeah, I hope he does too

Deniselle said...

And if he doesn't get one within the next five years, we may just have to write HBO an open letter! :)

Robyn E. Kenealy said...

James would be frakking fabulous in Mad Men, at least from what I've seen of it. Actually, I feel 'Beginner's Luck' bodes well for him and that kind of acting.

I can also see him doing a great Doctor Who, though for me the Doctor stopped with Tennant. Yes, I know. I fail at geekdom. But I can't help it. David Tennant looks like somebody I used to be in love with.

Catherine said...

I adore David Tennant and was reluctant to see a new Doctor but I was amazed at how quickly I took to 11. I love him too. 10 will always be my Doctor, but 11 is awesome in his own way. But I understand where you're coming from.

And lucky you, to have dated someone who looks like him :)